Living with boys
A visual autobiography of my life as a mother of 2 boys, these photos helped me to understand my own mothering, and my feelings towards it. Later, the photos played in important role in recruiting mothers to my research exploring the everyday activities of motherhood. They became my calling card, introducing me - I'm a mother like you, my house is messy too. The photos show some of the dilemmas I experienced as a mother - should I let them use the streets of Nottingham as a playground; is it OK for them to play with plastic guns, should I stop them fighting? These photos are about my attempts to contain and socialise my sons, trying to manage their energy. My photos raise questions about whether it is boys' nature to be exuberant, and want to play with guns. Some (eg Steve Biddulph (1997)) consider that, compared to girls, boys have more testosterone, which produces energetic and boisterous behaviour; whereas poststructuralists argue that masculinity is not a truth, but a construct, and that boys have a variety of identity choices. Attitudes towards one photo, 'gun and boots', represent the collision of my sons' 'nature' (energy, fighting, weapons) and the social world. At a toddler group where I was hoping to recruit mothers, the organiser lectured me on how important it was for children to know that guns were bad, and that none of her mothers would let their children have guns. This then became a dilemma - should I show this photo to mothers, or leave it out? How would I be judged? My photos do not provide answers, but pose questions about how people negotiate 'natural' and social worlds.
References : Biddulph, Steve (1997) Raising boys. Why boys are different - and how to help them become happy and well balanced men London Thorsons.